Sunday, May 07, 2006

Blow Out

And I'm not talkin about that sweet show on Bravo!

Hello Mets fans. VZ here, reporting live from my bed at Flushing Medical Center. I'll be the first to admit, this has gotta be one of the worst cases of tennis elbow, ever. It started acting up during a few matches at the Hugo Chavez Open right before spring training. Doubt most of you knew I was an avid tennis player. Gotta stay in shape during the off season. I was pretty good in that tourney. My serves were up near 100mph. Sent one of the ball boys home with a black eye. Anyway, the pain seemed to die down after that and I was good to go for the first few weeks of the season. I felt something early Saturday morning but thought I could play through it. After I struckout Andruw "They didn't teach me how to spell Andrew in the Netherlands" Jones, I figured I should get a second opinion. When I got to the locker room, my elbow was the size of a watermelon. Jose threw up in his glove. I didnt even know he had one.

Official word is not good. The tendon in my elbow is shot and I'm done for the year. Just when I was getting back on track. Stay tuned folks, I dont know how this injury will affect my ability to continue with this blog. I dont want to get carpal tunnel from all the typing. Counting my $3 million for the year already took quite a toll on the old digits.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Another Strong outing

Another Win Mets Fans! This team is really on fire. Aside from Nascar Billy's woes the mood in the clubhouse is really positive. Now and then I try to knock it down a bit by playing the tomahawk chop on the stereo and reminding D Wright that the last time the Braves failed to win the division his balls still hadn't dropped. Well the bullpen has been stupendous and after last nights game I figured with this kind of staff you just have to get the lead and then hand it off to Julio and company. To be honest before the game I didn't want to pitch as I was sure I didn't have a shot in hell against Hudson. So when I walked out in the second with the lead I figured this was the time. So I took a few pitches and pulled up lame. Rick was really disheartened as now it looks like their going to have to rely on Fortunado and Lima time. This is going to make me look even better than before. If this town though I was bad wait to these two bums get on the hill, besides my ERA is now down to a very respectable 6.75.

Deja Vu!

Here's a question Mets fans , which one of these offseason moves has been a bust? Hmmm ..... Lets see a couple game winning hits verse 4 blown saves? Frankly Billy can't hack it anymore. His fastball has slowed down and he throws some weird curve/slider that hardly gets over the plate. Earlier this week I told him that I have been studying tape and found something with his mechanics that I would like to discuss with him. After tonight's game he started begging for me to let him know what it was that I saw. I put my right hand over my right eye and told him that the magic eye see's all he got all excited and started telling me how he things its something to do with his leg kick, I knodded, shrugged my shoulders and walked away as he started moaning about how he needs advice. I see enough baseball 5 days a week and watching tape in the off hours is where I draw the line. I mean in the end this is a job, you go to work put in your hours and try to collect some Bolivar's for the weekend! Personally I think he had a nice run and would be wise to hang it up.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Billy blows...

... another save! Oh how this makes me laugh. This guy is makin $10.5 million a year to pack lippers and pitch one inning now and then. $10.5 million? I broke my calculator try to convert that to Bolivars. Seriously though guys, it looked like he was having some problems with his control out there. I would know. But to be fair, he was pitching during Hurricane Omar. That shit was crazy! I was building little castles in the mud during pre-game warmups and chillin back in Jose's hot tub by the fourth inning, didnt think they had a shot in hell of recording an official game.

Just when we thought all was lost. Carlos bombs one over the fence in the 12th. I asked him to sign my program when he got back to the locker room. I might throw it up on EBay later. Hopefully I can get some extra cash for it, cause I haven't gotten any bids for Beltran's hamstring, and that's been on there since last year. I'll even throw in a few Subway coupons Willie gave me to make me feel better after that first start against Atlanta. I'm gonna tomahawk those little bastards this weekend!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Nice Job Maine!

Where did this John Maine kid come from? I for one thought his performance was horrible last night. This is the Ney York Metropolitans and if were going to go all the way outings like that are totally unacceptable! Frankly I didn't make it to the game last night as Valentin really put me off my rocker between club shelter and the Lil Jon concert. I did however, manage to check the box score and like the rest of Mets world was extremely disappointed. I want you all to know that I gave Willy an earful. I told him flat out this isn't some Mickey Mouse team here this is the big leagues and if this kid wants to make it he can't be giving up 4 runs in five innings. At first Willy defended the kid saying something about his ERA being lower than mine but when I reminded him that this was the kid we got for trading away Benson, it finally started to sink in. Then when I reminded him that Anna never fulfilled her promise about sleeping with everyone in the organization he started to get upset. He took out a picture of her that he keeps in his drawer and began to sulk, then cry and start wailing at the top of his lungs about how much he missed her. Frankly, it got kind of weird so I left his office and sent Bannister in to console him. Anyway don't know if Willy's going to make tonight's game, Pedro's pitching and frankly he calls the shots anyway. One things clear Mets fans this Maine kid has to go!

Monday, May 01, 2006

7.20 and Falling!

I know....... I know.......I'm Good!
That's how you Pitch Mets fans! Era down to 7.20! 5H 1ER and 4k's in 6 IP. I can already hear Willy and Omar singing my praises as they talk about the action on my ball. Well its off to celebrate, Mr Valentin is taking me out tonight. I must say Mets fans there's nothing like pitching a solid game and knowing you won't have to do anything for another 5 days. Were hitting club shelter tonight, I'd rather go to Mcsorley's and let loose but Jose wants to first get all jammed up and get his trance on. After that were going to a crunk concert. I really don't know what it is but Jose promised to show me some of his dance moves, I have to say I'm a bit removed from these kids today but this crunk thing is supposed to be sweeping the nation. Anyway if you'd like to post some adjectives on my performance feel free Mets fans.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Thanks Steve!

After two stellar performances it was nice to see Steve come through for me. Last thing I needed was for him to stifle the Braves and bring more attention to myself. Before the game I had a letter left in his locker telling him that Peterson and the skip were seriously considering his demotion to the minors and that this start was critical to him remaining in the rotation. It was signed BB and I think the pressure got to him, as he gave up 6 runs in 3 innings. Everything went well except after the game he really took it out on Bannister, that kid sure has had a tough week. Well its the Nats tomorrow, new pitch should be ready, see you then Mets fans.

Another win!

Wow another win! Sure as hell didn't see that one coming. It might have been good for the team but it sure took a bite out of my wallet. Seeing Tommy's numbers against the Braves (2-9) I bet Bannister $100 that Tommy would be knocked out by the third. I figured I could clean the kid out as he's all "rah rah" about the team. Well Tommy looked good, real good and as the game progressed I kept doubling down. I started calling homeruns by the Jones' brothers and predicting D Wright and Matsui errors that just didn't happen. Cliff's stellar catches in left didn't help either. I was down 1k by the 9th and I bet $1000 that my buddy Jose Valentin would get to hit. When I saw him step into the on-deck circle I started doing the chicken dance and raising the roof in front of Bannister, next thing I know Jose's back in the dugout and Julio's at bat. Personally I think the fix was in, all told I lost 2k on the night!

Well I'm on the wagon today, early game at 1pm. I plan on throwing for a few minutes in the bullpen and giving my new pitch a go. If not I'll just wing it out there on Monday as too much preparation can be tiring.

Friday, April 28, 2006


Pedro really pitched some game tonight. Its really something to watch him pitch. I must say I was enjoying the game in the bullpen having a stoli and raz until I got a call from Peterson in the 4th. The phone rang and Billy dressed in his Dale Earnhart getup of tight jeans and #3 tattoos answered and started yelling "Victor them der phone ringin", I first figured it was just another one of Billy's rants about some Nascar race but after he kept hollering "dang Vicky its Ricky", I took the phone. "Victor its Peterson have you been watching the game?" Hello......... I replied raising my voice "Victor are you watching Pedro pick the corners, listen to Paul and control his speeds" "Hello......." I replied cupping my hand over the receiver. "Victor this is what I have been talking about control and location!" Rick said as I finished off the stoli and scratched my back with the receiver......"Victor, Victor, Victor.... don't pull this sh$t again!" "Hello..... Hello....." I replied making static with my voice as I signaled Jorge for a refill. Well Rick just continued to carry on about location so I made Bannister hobble over and speak with a Spanish accent as part of his rookie initiation. The conversation carried on for a few minutes and we all had a good laugh. Anyway the game was better from there on out, just glad I don't have to pitch tomorrow as after the win we got a bit carried away in Hotlanta!


See how miserable I look in my Durham Balls baseball card? That's right, Durham BALLS. Well, guess what? Apparently I was terrible then, and I'm terrible now. As many of you may have already heard, the higher ups have decided to skip my spot in the rotation for this weekend's series in Atlanta. So my first few starts weren't that great, I had the flu in Spring Training! All those meals at Miguelitos have slowly destroyed my body's ability to fight off disease. Speaking of which, I hope this rash goes away soon. Makes it nearly impossible to pitch from the stretch.

Anyway, seeing as it's Julio's old stomping ground, I don't think Jose will see many pinch hit opportunities. I'm gonna ask if he wants to go see that new movie ATL with me instead of going to the game tonight. I heard one of the guys from Outkast is in it. I love that Hey Ya song, it never gets old. I might ask the guys at Shea to start playing it during my bullpen sessions. Oh, speaking of bullpen sessions, my new pitch is coming along great. I'm thinkin about changing the name, maybe Blue Steel or the Terminator. If you guys have any ideas, I'm all ears.

Gotta run, the gypsy cab is waiting. Pedro wouldnt let me ride on the bus to the hotel with the rest of the team.